Posts Tagged ‘ moving on ’

Things I learned in 2012.

When I was drafting this blog, I was laughing internally because in comparison, the one I wrote for 2011 was so short. It amuses me that 2011 felt like I grew so much, but 2012 was so much more.

So because this list is so long, I’m going to subdivide it into months.


  • Saying goodbye isn’t the hardest thing– living without is.
  • Moving to the Willamette valley in January is a terrible idea. It’s the crappiest weather of the year.


  • Crappy jobs still pay rent.
  • Rich people aren’t good tippers. Actually, rich people are the worst tippers.
  • Getting thoroughly lost can be the best way to learn about a city’s geography.


  • Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to tune out.
  • If you’re willing to be surprised, a good friend can come from anywhere.


  • Unemployment is only scary when it stops feeling like a vacation.
  • Twenty is a surprisingly bummer age to turn. Suddenly adulthood feels like a burden


  • Aim high, be prepared to score low, and you may be pleasantly surprised.


  • Summer in Portland is perfect. 
  • Living in a main street in Portland during the summer… Not so much.


  • Nothing is certain, not even your life.
  • Getting prodded by medical folk gets easier the more it happens. Same with throwing up.
  • Dulaudid is one hell of a drug.
  • Recovery is the hardest part– waiting and wanting to be back to normal, but still sick.
  • In spite of the soap opera-y parts, Friends is an awesome show.
  • Staying hydrated is so much more important than I ever thought. Drink water, people!


  • Bicycling through Portland at night in the summer is amazing.
  • Doctor Who is one of the best TV shows of ALL TIME.
  • Life goes back to normal really easily, even when you’re changed forever and there’s constant turmoil in your brain.


  • Empathy is not a strong trait of mine, except where my sisters are concerned.
  • Every wedding should have dancing. (and dancers.)


  • Important decisions can be delayed.
  • I’m freaking awesome at parallel parking.


  • People who skype in coffee shops make me nervous.
  • Shutting up and listening is important.


  • Feeling rich is still a major fault of mine.
  • Handmade Christmas presents are the best!
  • Distance hasn’t made me love Central Oregon and my people there any less, and time hasn’t made me miss them any less.
  • Even though 2012 was a really tough year, it was a really good year– and it was really important.

And yeah… Fart jokes are still funny.

With that said, I’m really looking forward to what 2013 will hold. I’m making plans to intentionally make it the best year ever.



When Life delivers you a Slap to the Face

Being nineteen and feeling like I’m about to explode over the threshold and into life, I was planning to leave my hometown this fall. I intended to move to Portland to start my life as a grown-up barista/writer/art bum instead of a kid living at home. I still intend to. But life has delivered to me a roundhouse kick in the face of nearly Chuck Norrisian proportions in the ugly, ugly form of finance.

I tend to be pretty damn bipolar about money. I try to be a responsible grown-up person, but…. Money is for spending, right? So I’ll go on little spending sprees, swiping my card left and right for whatever strikes my fancy (mostly meals, dresses, and shoes– my three retail sins.) Soon, though, I’ll be tortured with guilt.

“What if I was having to pay rent?” my brain asks me, “or car insurance? or for gas to drive over the pass?” and thus I’ll begin my saving spree, refusing to swipe my card for anything, and hoarding my tips in an old Sobe bottle (a glass one thankyouverymuch.) Then, though, the bad part of my brain tells me, “Well, you AREN’T having to pay for any of those things, so why not live a little?”

And the cycle starts all over again. Disgustingly.

I didn’t realize that my spending sprees were outweighing my saving sprees so violently until I examined my bank statement closely and saw, lo and behold, I’ve been spending more than I was saving. A lot more. Not only is this grossly typical-American of me, but it is severely detrimental to my plans of growing up.

So what do I do?

Go into panic mode, of course. “I’m not spending money on ANYTHING!” I declare with my fist raised high. So far I’ve been relatively successful. I have relapses now and again, but I’m doing slightly better.

However, my habit of feeling rich (and spending like I was rich as relative to broke) has taken a pretty serious toll on my savings. Karma’s all like, “You’ve spent a lot, so now you have to spend nothing in order to accomplish your life goals!”

In other words, I realized I don’t have enough saved up to move from where I’ll get to leap from the threshold of life. I’ve got bad Portlanditis, but it would be more of a bummer to get there, run out of money, and have to come back than it’s going to be for me to stick around lil’  ol’ Central Oregon a little longer.

I’m currently formulating a plan to get to Portland, so we’ll see how it goes.

Also, I think the Higher Power is telling me to be content with my lot before He gives me a new lot in life.

I don’t suppose it does any good to buy a brand-new sweatshirt when the old one still has some wear in it, right?

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