Posts Tagged ‘ bitch ’


There is a deep and somewhat personal indignation that fills my heart when a customer, having ordered espresso, takes that espresso and dumps sugar in it without tasting it first.

I seem to remember reading a silly online etiquette guide sometime that said it was the height of rudeness to salt food before tasting it when dining at a friend’s house. It’s considered an affront to the host/ess– an assumption that the food was improperly seasoned.

Well, I feel similarly insulted when customers assume that the exquisite espresso I serve them is not fit for human consumption before making the drink a matter of sucrose to coffee ratios rather than one of simple, pure, delightful coffee.

I understand that not everyone likes espresso, even when it’s good. It’s powerful stuff. But if you don’t like espresso, why didn’t you order a mocha? Mochas are like espresso with training wheels (in the form of chocolate syrup and milk.)

(Recently, I had a customer take a mocha and add a few tablespoons of sugar. To you, sir, I say this: Have fun with your impending diabetes– or just order a hot chocolate or something and stop trying to drown the coffee.)

It may be unfair to think that customers are assuming my espresso is bad. They might not be trying to insult my skills, but rather just be shocked and intimidated by the size, and correctly assume the potency while underestimating its deliciousness.

I haven’t decided whether or not the offence and sorrow I feel at the untasted sugaring of coffees I serve is rational or fair. If it isn’t, I’m pretty sure I don’t care. Even if it’s a wholly irrational sense of insult, I think it’s a noble emotion which I should embrace, because the coffees I serve are freaking delicious and don’t need sugar.

That is all.

(On another note, I’m finally back! Yay.)


Class: –adjective. of high quality, integrity, status, or style

As many of you know (at least those of you who know me in person,) I’m not a huge movie buff. I would much rather spend those one and a half to two hours of my life doing something like reading, playing my guitar, drawing, or even just browsing the Internet. I have a pretty short attention span, so being fed stimulation while I’m sedentary is pretty unappealing to me.

But I do admit my vice when it comes to movies– I love old musicals. Few things fill my heart with such joy as Gene Kelly’s weird choreography and lovely singing, or the stunning tap and ballroom moves of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. One of the best things, though, about old musicals, is that the female protagonists were so freaking classy.

Since the fifties, there has been a marked shift in female protagonists in film. I understand rebellion and sexual revolution and all that jazz, but female protagonists now are almost always the bitchy/sassy one, whereas the “wholesome good girl” is usually secretly backstabbing or whatever, and worse than the bitchy one, and therefore the antagonist.

Wait, what?

Last time I checked, anyone could be bitchy. This shift in feminine leads is indeed a reflection of our ideals, and just a mirror for a shift in attitudes.

What happened to the class, America?

Whether the lack of class is leaking down from Hollywood or being sent there from the masses remains in limbo– that’s a matter for sociologists. But it’s not just in the media where the class is gone. Frequently I see little girls my sister’s age cursing, dressing sluttier and sluttier, and bad-talking people when their backs are turned, even when they’re still in the same room.

Whatever happened to the age of really classy dames?

Actually, I think that the answer is pretty simple. Allow me to bloviate some more.

The reason our society lacks class is because we are:

  1. Lazy as CRAP
  2. Image-obsessed
  3. Unrealistic and deluded about Real Life

Which are three ingredients for a perfect cocktail of the bitchiest generation since our forefathers landed in the East.

I’ll expand, starting with Lazy.

We are, without a doubt, the most pampered generation. As I mentioned inentry, no-one younger than me (read: under 18) remembers a time without Internet. Admittedly, my memories of that time are pretty fuzzy, but I do remember phonebooks, before cell phones, getting directions via addresses and landmarks instead of your GPS, and my mom making dates with her friends (and mine) in person or over the phone instead of email.

Those days took effort, people! Even though it was less effort than ever before, we are still the laziest generation to date. We have always had the luxury of the Information age, creating these selfish, lazy monsters.

Even the least privileged of us has had our lives handed to us on a veritable golden platter with a flower posy by a butler asking us if we’d like anything else sir or ma’am.

Which brings me to my second point– we’re so freaking image-obsessed.

Because of our unrealistic and deluded views about Real Life, we don’t have anything to focus our energy on but ourselves, resulting in our original conundrum– we’re the bitchiest generation.

The people with class these days aren’t the rich or famous, and indeed don’t have any time to focus their energy inward. Classy people don’t stress about being classy. It’s people who’ve spent their lives putting others first.

True class isn’t something even Old Hollywood can channel– true class is rising above petty people and difficult situations with grace and poise.

Any girl can be a bitch, but it takes a real woman to have class.

This is not a bitch column

Here in Central Oregon we have a pretty limited number of publications. The ones we have are, at best, all right.

Yesterday at work I was quite bored and picked up one of the aforementioned publications, the Source Weekly. Don’t get me wrong, the Source is a decent publication considering the population and demographics of the area, but as I flipped through the pages I was awed by how cookie-cutter bitch-column every single one of the articles was.  “I can write better than that,” I thought, shaking my head at the low caliber of writing, but then I realized I’m not a whole lot better.

With this blog, I try to have a nice balance of complaining, praising, rambling, ranting, and so on. I know that I tend toward the bitch-blogger a little bit (part of the reason I started this blog) but at least I’m aware of it.

I don’t get paid to complain about random stuff once a week. That’d be nice. I could be rich if people paid me to write a bitch column ’cause there’s a lot to complain about in the world.

However, I take issue with publications paying writers to write at the same level as thousands of bloggers. I mean honestly! Here I am writing a blog post that is about as a) Interesting, b) Valid, and c) Bitchy as many of the articles in the Source Weekly.

Nobody’s paying me. I guess it’s because I’m still underage and can’t write about beer.

Yes, I do note the irony in me writing a bitchy blog about how unprofessional bitchy columns are.

%d bloggers like this: