Aaaaaannnnddd I’m back!


So despite my best intentions, I obviously didn’t start blogging regularly again when I meant to.

At least partially, I can cast the blame on the fact that I spent about three weeks after my release from the hospital slowly feeling less like crap, a.k.a. recovering, a.k.a. lying around watching Friends and feeling sorry for myself.   They tell me that it takes six weeks to build a habit, and only two weeks to break it, (or is that building muscle? I don’t really care,) and while I’m being honest, I completely got out of the habit. The couple of weeks that I was out while seriously sick were enough.

Indeed, I’ve been struggling to write at all ever since I got out of the hospital.

Since I’ve last blogged, I’ve tried in vain to journal through my discomfort and depression. Whenever I tried to draft a semi-coherent blog about the fear I can’t face (which I may write now that I’m more okay,) it would dissolve into crazy scribblings which I can barely read, as tends to happen when I’m upset.

I was starting to feel pretty mentally constipated.

But suddenly!

I left my journal behind at my friend Mandy’s house in Newberg. I was about 1/16th of an inch away from finishing it up, so instead of waiting until one of us had the time and means to make our way to the other’s neighborhood, I just went down the street to Powell’s and bought a new journal.

Then, startlingly, but surely, I began to be able to write again. That was five days ago, and bam! I’m blogging.

It might have something to do with the fact that my old journal was filled with thoughts from before and during my illness, and then they dropped off so drastically. Every time I opened it, I was reminded of how numb I felt mentally, both from fever and from narcotics. Let’s just say association is a bitch.

It’s okay now, though, because I’ve begun writing excessively again and I see no reason to stop. My mental constipation has been relieved and I have my favorite (and most effective) form of therapy back in my life.

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