Obsessive Stat-Checking Leads to This

Today I decided to both answer and question some of the search strings that people have entered here on Blip In the Cosmos. Since I obsessively check my stats, I do see whatever people enter into that fine search bar to the right, and since I noticed some of them are either questions that I would have to specifically answer or just too random to ignore, I decided to blog about them.

To everyone who has searched “Blip in the Cosmos” over the months: Just click on the fine page entitled What’s all this About? and your questions will be answered, and if not just Contact Bethany and Fill her Heart with Joy and I’ll answer all your questions! (Unless you ask something like “What are you wearing,” because that would make me stop thinking you’re cool and also drain all the joy from my heart.)

Dear whoever searched “I shot myself Bethany:” Just go away. You make my life creepy.

Dear person who searched “How do you know if a customer at a coffee shop likes the barista?”  The barista would know if you told them. But that has potential for creepy. Try inviting them to hang out sometime. Thank you for including punctuation in your search string.

Dear humans who’ve wondered “how do you know if a barista likes you or is just being nice,” “how do you know if a barista likes you,” or any variation thereof: How do you know if anyone likes you? I seriously don’t know why you think I’ve written about how you can tell if your barista likes you. Try having a real conversation with them, (what a novel idea,) then you’re on your own my friend.

To whoever searched “barista love,” what does that even mean? I’m honestly curious. Tell me!

To people who keep searching “hipster,” “portland oregon hipster culture,” or any of the other many search strings involving the word hipster: I have written one blog about hipsters, which I’m sure you’ve found, but stay tuned because I’m brewing a really winner of a blog about hipsters and how both they need to lighten up and people need to lighten up about the stereotype.

Dear two people who searched “Bethany quirk:” This is a little strange but I’m honestly curious what you were hoping to find. Let me know in the comments!

And finally, to the coffee-drinker who wondered “Should you add sugar to your Americano:” No, you should not.

Was one of these search strings yours? Is one of them something you’ve wondered? What the hell does “Bethany quirk” even mean?

Let me know in the comments!

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