Logical Love

I have never been one prone to diving into romantic situations. Even if I do like a male person in a romantic fashion, I always weigh the pros and cons before I even let on to myself or anyone else that the case is so. Usually, I find that the cons outweigh the pros, and my brain subsequently kills the romantic interest in a cerebral smack-down of instinct.

This usually looks like my heart saying “Baaaawwwww we’re so ALOONNEE,” and I’ll tend to be sad for a little while, until my brain counters with “But you’re free! Independent! Autonomous! Besides, any male person who became a romantic possibility wouldn’t understand your need for space!” Then my heart goes “Wait. You’re right! I like being able to do whatever I want and not have to talk to or hang out with people unless I want to!” And that is how I kill crushes.


Depressing? Never!

This works for me because “Follow your heart,” has always sounded like a really stupid idea. Yesterday I compiled a list of all the things I would do if I followed my heart instead of my head:

  1. Jump off buildings.
  2. Tell people they’re retarded.
  3. Never apologize.
  4. Throw stuff at people when they annoyed me.
  5. Kiss pretty strangers.
  6. Did I mention I’d tell people how retarded they are?

Basically, my heart is crazy. CRAZY. And I’m pretty damn sure yours is no saner.

Follow your heart is the greatest, commonest modern love fallacy. Pride and Prejudice is considered one of the best books ever by so many people, and mostly because of its love story. Do people really think Liz Bennett dove right into chasing after Mr. Darcy just because her heart told her to? Not so much. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to remember her rejecting him because her brain told her how unhappy she’d be. It all worked out though, obviously. How our culture still loves this story in an age of hook-ups and one night stands is beyond me.

So, is the media to blame? Only in part. The media produces what the public wants to see, and if the public wants one more follow-your-heart rom-com then they give it to them. We are a generation, a culture even, of follow-your-hearters, and people who don’t are considered “not liberated” or something to that effect.

Allow me to expound more on how I manage to reconcile my Vulcanish brain beliefs with my very Human heart instincts.

First, let us assume for my purposes that Love is indeed a verb. Second, let us agree that Attraction/Infatuation is different than love. So, you meet someone who strikes your Attraction/Infatuation the first time you meet them. Please, don’t call it love at first sight! After you get to know said person, you find out that they have a trait that is really incompatible with you. So do you go ahead and pursue a relationship with them? If you’re a follow-your-hearter, you do. But unless you’re Jesus, which you’re not, listening to your instincts over your intellect hardly ever works out.

A born-and-raised Trekkie, I try to let Logic be my guide instead of Love, A.k.a. I listen to my brain over my heart, for one simple reason. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” says Jeremiah 17:9. I cannot even begin to tell you how many emotional scrapes I’ve narrowly avoided because I listened to the voice in my brain screaming “This doesn’t make sense! Your heart is retarded!”

In summation, Love CAN be a logical decision. If you think that listening to your head is for squares, well… Have fun with that broken heart. It seems to be great at leading the way.

Don’t listen to your heart. No matter how smart your brain is, your heart is really retarded. You’re the only person who can decide which to listen to.

  1. May 30th, 2012

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